Caravan of Pain by Scott Alderman
Author:Scott Alderman [Coker, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scott Alderman
Chapter Six
Puya, We Hardly Knew Ya
Sometimes when I would pitch the idea for Tattoo the Earth, I would tell people that my vision of it was so real that I could close my eyes, stand in it, and describe it in detail. I could see it clearly, right from the first moment I had the idea: all the sights, sounds, and smells of it all the way down to my bones. Now I was actually standing smack in the middle of our inaugural show, and while it looked, sounded, and smelled like Iâd imagined, it felt nothing like I thought it would. However it wentâand there were no guarantees we would get through it in one piece financially or physicallyâI did feel a sublime sense of accomplishment. I had gone from being one of a million bullshitters hustling some fantastical idea to someone who had seen it through and made it happen. Sixteen thousand people bought a ticket to see our first show. I was looking at them; they were bumping up against me as I wandered about. Under a blistering sunny sky in the middle of a horse track in Oregon, I was standing in the middle of Tattoo the Earth.
But other than this sense of accomplishment, a feeling that I knew from experience was fleeting, I felt nothing but exhaustion and resentment. We were dinged and edgy, hemorrhaging money, with the future of the thing weâd built in constant doubt. Everything had been a struggle, and it never felt like we were ever actually âthere.â Even then, at our first date, I was still expecting something catastrophic to derail us. I tried to clear my mind of what had been lost getting there and all the minefields we still had to navigate. Nevertheless, I tried to enjoy the moment. Everywhere I turned, though, there were constant reminders of how fucked up everything had gotten, starting with the main stage.
Booth had taken the logo that Iâd drawn in my basementâand that was still a trip to see adorning all the swagâand designed a gothic, heavy metal version with red swatches and sharp edges to hang over the stage. Iâd approved the designs when he showed them to me, and I thought it was cool that weâd have this imposing logo dominate the stage. But Booth got the measurements wrong, and what was supposed to tower over the stage actually looked like a postage stamp at the top of a legal-sized envelope; you could barely see it from the back of the field. Booth also messed up the two giant scrims with Maori heads that covered the speaker side-fills. The design, which, again, made sense on paper, was actually fine gray print on a black background, and you could barely see it. There were a few times during the day, when the sun hit it just right, that you could sort of see it, but mostly it looked like two black scrims with illegible, faint gray sketching on them. I forgave Booth, for all of it.
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